Wednesday, December 24, 2008

musings

There are moments in life when I'm just completely and incredibly blown away by the plans that G-d has made for me, for the gentle pushes and graciously loving way He continuously draws me towards Himself at all times, during all seasons.

This Sunday was one of them. My Saviour met me. He found me where I was, he touched me as I worshiped Him among my fellow believers for the first time in months. How wonderful is our G-d! He did not stop there, His presence followed me. I ended up at the house of a family, the members of which are old friends of mine, and I got there as they were ending their house church meeting. In that final prayer, G-d used a simple man to speak His simple words, ones that were precisely what I needed to hear.

This is how great my G-d is; this is my astounding Lord who saves.

This late evening, I have found myself caught in the past, glancing through some of the many memories clouding my thoughts, but lead through them by Yeshua. As always, I see things that I would do differently now, but rest secure in the knowledge that it is the experience of those moments that have made me into the person that I am today.

However, I saw something different in them today. I clearly saw... a thread, a plan, a design, a purpose in a brief flash, a transient moment. Everything that has happened in my life, big or small, has been part of his continuous process of molding and shaping me more into the person he has destined me to be with each day. I rest secure in that.

I can still see that the process is by no means close to nearing its end, that the work He has left to do in me and through me is gargantuan. But at this moment, I can only find my heart echoing the words of a favored song toward the throne of G-d: "You know the way / I've let go the need to know why / For you know better than I."

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26

Who knows what joys He has waiting for me around the next bend, behind the next tribulation?

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Asking for time to decipher the signs...

What is there to know? I'm just another guy trying to figure out what it means to truly love, to truly live, to embrace life to the fullest. If I ever get some answers, I'll let you know. "So live on, / Breathing in every sigh / Hurt and joy / Truly living life to its fullness / Leaving no dream unturned / Or unfulfilled / Live on / Life awaits" -excerpt from "Nostalgia" by me.